The Enemies That Surround Us

This was originally written in 2009.  When I was searching for the blog somehow I hit update and it changed the date on this article. 

This blog has been about my struggle with depression, but today I write about a sorrow far deeper. Today I write about betrayal.

Every time we meet someone we make a decision. We decide whether or not we are going to give them a part of us. For some we will only share the weather. For others, our soul. When you share your soul you become bonded like wallpaper. Everyone knows when you try to separate the wallpaper from the wall, that the wallpaper is shredded and the wall is destroyed and in need of much repair.

These deep relationships are much more common within the church. But they are also more likely to destroy you. This is to our shame. Twice now I have built my life around the church of God that I love. Many have said, "I love you" one day to turn around the next day to never speak to me again. This has caused my heart to bleed. It has caused me sorrow upon sorrow.  Many who claim to care and get close to me, once they discover the darkness in my marriage, the abuse and hate they simply walk away.  The church does not know what to do with a sociopath.  My abuse is so deep and so painful... death seems my only alternative.